Cautious Love
by Mrs. Ace Merrill
Summary: NOT A MARY SUE, PLOT TWISTS, OC, ROMANCE, LOVE, COBRAS, GANG! Now that I have you attention.. "Like the skeletons in my closet, the feeling of wanting to be held close never goes away." please read and review c:
1. (Prologue) Bathroom Blues

_**I was here,**_

_**but now I'm gone..**_

_**I left my name,**_

_**to turn ya'll on ;) **_

_**~The great Charles Hogan**_

I shake my head at the immaturity of one '_Charles Hogan_' and place my oversized purse beside the more than grungy looking sink. I squint and frown at the hardly legible writing sprawled across the bathroom stall, debating weather or not to write back to this cliche graffiti. I'm tempted to write a reply on the now stained for life bathroom stall, just for the hell of him seeing it; but I'm not armed with a perminate marker as this '_Charles Hogan_' once was. Though I have a tube of red lipstick deep inside the pocket of my purse, and even though it can wash off, I decide to write my reply just for the thought of a smart insult. Stupid boy, never write such an immature poem on a ladies bathroom stall and not expect a smart reply. Hell, stupid boy, you shouldn't even be inside this room anyways, didn't you see the sign plastered onto the door outside?

I grin to myself and unzip my purse, digging around for a moment until I notice the fire engine red tube I've been looking for. It's been over-used to the point of becoming terribly low in makeup, and scratched on the outside, but that's okay.. I have more where that came from.

I uncap the tube and walk to the poem onto the bathroom stall wall, and press the makeup against the cold metal. Maybe this will teach that stupid boy that he shouldn't be intruding into a ladies room and writing disgusting graffiti onto the wall. Hasn't his mother taught him any better? Hasn't he any manners?

_**I was here, **_

_**But now I'm gone,**_

_**Your filthy remark,**_

_**I'm not so fond;**_

_**And if you decide to come back for more,**_

_**I'll hit you with this,**_

_**Rusty bathroom stall door,**_

_**~Sincerly, Not A Dumb-ass.**_

I add a heart beside my now, oh so rude alter ego, and place the cap back on my ruined lipstick.

Letting the stall door swing closed, I make my way out of the bathroom, grabbing my purse on the way out. I slip my lipstick into the side pocket as I walk into the open once more, ignoring gruesome stares from the town folk that sit inside the tiny diner.

It seemed as though all they were all wondering _why the hell I was here_; and honestly, I was still wondering the exact same thing.

I make my way back to the shaded booth in the corner, where two new figures have seemed to be accompanying my father. I notice the head of blonde first, than the one of chocolate brown later; both seem to have a heavy amount of gel for this occashion, not a single hair out of place. And in saying that, I knew it was them and this wasn't the sick joke I had planned it out to be.

I felt a familiar feeling eurpt in the pit of my stomach, the same feeling I had had this morning when I contemplated weather or not this deal was true or false, when really I should have been accepting the fact that I was to be married off to a man I have yet too meet. A man that sits beside his own father in the booth in front of me. I bit my cherry smeared lip in anxiety as I continue to concentrate on the beat of my heels, noticing as the blonde turns towards me and my breath hitches.

Was this him?


	2. Goodbyes and Hidden Regret

**To all of the readers who are here for a new update, scroll down and read through; you'll find the parts I've edited to fit more of where I want this story to go. This site isn't too friendly with sticking in edited parts, so I'm very sorry you've thought this was a new update. I'll have chapter three posted soon, until than, have a great read and let me know what you think(:**

"_R__onnie..Come, come, take a seat._"

I look into my fathers fading brown eyes, studying every inch of emotion he can muster up from deep within himself. I can tell by the gleam in his eyes that he's happy that the deal is moving a long fairly well, but on the other hand he's full of regret that he, as a father, has to place this situation before his own daughter; all because of some stupid poker deal made back in the day. I think he understands that he's placed me to burn inside of my own personal hell, and he regrets it.

Never the less, I slip in the booth beside him and look at both men sitting across the table from us. The strawberry blonde has his blue eyes studying every movement I make, as if it would give him answers to who I am. He seems to be expecting me to say something to him, but I don't, Instead I just sit there and stare at the brown haired man who seems to be his father. The middle aged man has a smile on his lips as he looks at my father who just nods towards him awkwardly, and for a brief moment I wonder why.

"_She's beautiful,_" The man turns towards me. "_.. And smart I hear?_"

I don't know whether it was a question or a statement, but I nod at him just as my father had done before. I know it seems rude, since he's been nothing but nice to me so far, but I feel that if I'm unhappy, I should show that I am. Why paint on a smile when really I'm frowning inside?

"_There's no need to be upset, my dear. My youngest son here, John, will provide everything you're little heart desires. He will take care of you, and you will be safe. Right, my boy?_" I turn towards the blonde now known as John, a smirk is curled upon his lips and he continues to stare. I wonder absent mindedly as I look at him if he's ever going to speak to me, or if I should just look away and act like the question wasn't directed towards at him; but that's when his deep voice interrupts my thoughts, and finally he answers.

"_That's right._"

I nod towards him as well and look back his father who is caught in the midst of nodding back towards my own father. I guess that means the deal is sealed, and I'm stuck here.. With John, my soon to be fiancée; _lovely_.

* * *

Nobody really speaks much after that, only John's father who introduces himself as _Junior Merrill_ and his son as _John "Ace" Merrill_. I almost shook my head in the moment when he had told me John's middle name was "_Ace_" like the playing card, because of the his undeniable love for poker.. Explanation to exactly why I'm here.

Though that uncomfortable conversation was short and sweet, soon our group made its way out the door and into the parking lot where my father gave me a last hug, whispered he loved me and disappeared down the long road home. At that moment I was jealous of my own father. Not only because he was driving home to my mother, but for the comfort he was able to endure while I was stuck here in hell.

* * *

John holds the door opened for me, and I climb out of his dusty convertible. We're in middle of no where, but there's a three story house standing tall in front of us, and I guess this is where I'm about to be calling home.

I have to admit it's beauty, I'm memorized by the size and how clean kept it is inside. Seeing John as a young man, I assumed it would be some type of bachelor pad for he and his drinking buddies, but I assume wrong.

The house was spotless inside, right down to the shining marble floor beneath us. The walls were painted a creamy red velvet, while the pictures of his family hung proudly upon the light colour. Vases of flowers decorated the mansion, and I assumed right then he had some sort of maid.. But I couldn't be all that sure.

Could he afford a woman to clean his house for him on a daily basis?

I look around, eyeing everything up for the last time before he leads me up the staircase.

Of course he could.

"The most I can really do at this point is welcome you to _our_ home. I will show you around the house, bring you up to your guest bedroom, which is just down the hallway from mine. But when people stay over you will sleep in my bedroom with me; because we are suppose to be in love, remember that."

After his short speech, he shows me around. There wasn't much to say between us, we had no old memories to share, no stories either of us would feel comfortable telling each other; so he tells me about Castle Rock and the luxuries of living in a small town. One of them not being near a police headquarters, go figure.

Apparently there's a tiny pool hall next to the tiny diner where we had met for the first time, today. It's called _Irby's Billiards_, and he and his friends enjoy spending most of the weekends there when they aren't working. Though he hasn't told me what his job is yet, I silently wonder if it's apart of his fathers company. I feel a sick feeling in my gut as I study him for a moment longer, coming to no conclusion with the matter; only the fact that he's tough enough for it.

I push my questions on the back burner and continue to follow him around the mansion, wondering what I could do when I got up inside my guest room. Maybe I could call home and tell my mother I was perfectly fine? Was I allowed to do that? But most importantly.. Did she even care? Did my father brainwash her to think it was perfectly fine to marry your daughter away because of dept? Would a simple phone call to them even matter anymore, or am I now washed completely out of there lives..?

I think back to the last couple of days at home, my mother almost completely ignoring my wishes and complaints to stay exactly where I was. But she didn't listen to a word I had to say, she just ignored me.. She hid away in her room like a hermit, and never showed her face much around the house. My father was getting everything ready, though it seems he had regret for what he had done; you can never be sure with someone who has an addiction.

I mean, what kind of _father _throws their daughter away to a family of strangers because of some poker deal that gave him some dept? No good father, I can tell you that. Maybe neither he or my mother never cared about me.. I'm so confused, I only wanted answers.

"John.." I whisper through gritted teeth as I look towards the ground in shame. He turns his head towards me, opening his mouth to speak but not a word escapes his lips, but his attention is on me and I take advantage of it while I can.


	3. Part 2: Goodbyes and Hidden Regret

"_Am I allowed to make a phone call home?_"

I wince at my own question, but yet his cool demour lets me know that he is totally unaffected. It's as though he knew I was going to be asking sooner or later anyways, but still.. It's worth a try, even if they do secretly hate me now, at least I was the one who had kept on trying. So in the end, they wouldn't be able to blame me for losing contact with them and starting the root of their hate. Because it was me who had tried, and not them.. But I already have a feeling that I can't call home, and so the root of_ my_ hate begins.

I peer up into John's face, and by the look in his hard blue eyes it's accurate that I am unable to do so. I am unable to call home, but that alone is not my fault, it's who ever made up these stupid rules for me's fault. I knew for a fact I could call home if I really desired too, but at this moment in time I'm sheepish; I'm quiet and that's unlike me. But that's okay, because not being able to call them is out of my control, and after having so much inner blame for the situation and coming to grips with the fact they probably didn't care about me anyways; I don't even want to call home anymore.

I just wish things were different, and that I could be loved by at least someone. Just to know if I died by the hands of my fiancee tonight, someone would miss me, would make a world of difference right now. But I know I am unwanted, and my parents' were all I really knew for love. Now all I can depend on is John Merrill for that, to fill the lonely places in my heart, but I know he doesn't want too. I can tell he's uncaring of the situation, and that's okay.. I just wish I could be uncaring too.

"You know what? Never mind.. Where's my room again?" I place a slight smile on my lips to let him no nothing was wrong, but I wish he could read me like I could read myself. I wish he could hug me and tell me everything was going to be alright, and that somebody in this big world did love me.. I was yearning for that alone, and I knew he wouldn't even think about doing it. Definatly not now, not never.. But a girl can dream, espessially in her state of loneliness.

"Up here, come on, your bags are already unpacked.. The _maid_ unpacked them this morning." He replies, showing me towards the room that I will now call my own, and I grin absentmindedly. He does have a maid..

Maybe sometimes every_ is _what it seems.

* * *

After he has left me alone inside of my room, I reminse on what the hell I was going to do for the next couple of days. I know he doesn't want me to travel around Castle Rock alone, since he had told me briefly while showing me around. Though that's not entirely his problem if I decide to take a walk and familiarize myself with the place, I am my own person, and there are only so many rules a girl can follow. Well, most girls would fall to their fiancee's knees, but I won't. Of course I'll follow _most _of his rules, just to keep everyone content and happy for the time being, but I'm my own person too. I can't be trapped in this house forever, he can't expect that from me..

I toss and turn a couple times before peering into the vanity mirror just across the bedroom and stare into my own eyes. What I see scares me, it wasn't the me I once knew.. It was a different girl with the same features as the last one. But this girl was much tougher than the last one, she had an intelligent brain filling her head that could out smart any boy that came into her life; though there was still something there, something inside of her that was helpless and scared. I was never helpless and scared, and that freaked me out.

I rise from the bed and make my way across the bedroom towards the vanity, deciding that the smears of makeup across my face where terribly unattractive and in need of being removed. I decide than that I need a shower, and move towards the bathroom connected to my room and run some hot water. Maybe this will help me.. Maybe this will clean me of anything unwanted in my head. Gosh, all I could do was hope for the best.

**A/N: Hello beauty's, this was done fairly quick, so excuse the horrible writing for just this chapter; I needed to give you an update as soon as possible! :) So I want to hear your thoughts on this, what do you think? **

**What do you want to happen next? **

**Are you a fan of Ronnie or do you dislike her already?**

**What do you think the Cobras will think of her?**

**I'd love to hear your input on this! Oh, I also edited the last chapter, so to understand this one more you may want to take a look :) **

**AND ONE LAST THING..**

**A big thanks to kmcgeezy for writing drabbles for this story called "Bang, bang" now posted and in need of some reviews as well. A shout out to her and her story "Lost In The Shadows" A Lost Boys fanfiction which is defiantly worth the read. I can't even describe to you how great it is.. It's indescribable, and you should defiantly take a read on her page :)**

**Anyways, thanks for the support everyone, have a great read! :)**


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